Kung Fu (or more correctly, Gung Fu) has a number of weapons forms for a number of weapons; traditions that span thousands of years and uncounted generations of fine practioners. This is not one of them.
Dill Weed is a weapons form involving the use of very large branches of the
herb, dill weed, but not just any type of dill weed. You need
to use Long Island Mammoth Dill, as pictured here, which has this tendency to
grow taller then most people and drown out the other herbs if you aren't
careful.
As you can see, Long Island no doubt has a radiation leak somewhere.
Next, harvest a couple of the big fat branches, cutting off all the smaller leafy ones. Take the leafy ones, hang and dry them, then use that in cooking for about the next month or two. The branches that are left are your weapons.
The first step in mastering the Dill Weed Weapons Form is to take a long dill branch in each hand and strike a pose. Try to look fierce.
Now find a plot of open grass and start whipping those branches around. Remember than when fresh these things are indeed sort of like stiff whips. Just start slashing those things around.
Mastered that stuff? Great! Now for theore advanced student, there is the very tricky three branch form. How to accomplish this? Well, they say one picture is worth a thousand words, so...
And then back in the other direction...
Well congratulations, you have now mastered the Dill Weed Weapons Form. But don't use it against any thugs,thiefs, or angry cheffs, as it might not quite live up to as advertised. It might work against highly impressionable neighborhood kids, but beware of any practioner of the very deadly Pneumatic Stablegun Form (inside joke).
This page and it's contents the responsibility of Mark A. Tierno and a very strange imagination.